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Yoko Ono: If Only Hitler Had Sex With Jewish Women

Yoko Ono: If Only Hitler Had Sex With Jewish Women

Associate Editor

Like Billy Crystal’s "Fernando" character, who marvelously said "It’s more important to look good than to feel good," the advice to Jews and Israel from Peace Now-types and pacifists is that it’s more important to make every "gesture" that’s asked of you because it’s more important to look good than to live. As the peace movement’s idol, Mahatma Gandhi, advised Jews in the 1940s, it was important that Jews demonstrate their moral superiority to the Nazis by passive resistance, rather than the violent uprisings in the Warsaw Ghetto, Auschwitz and elsewhere that — to some strange minds — made us just like them. Said Gandhi. "The Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher’s knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from cliffs."

Oh, OK.

Then there was the time Gandhi suggested, "If I were a Jew and were born in Germany… I would claim Germany as my home even as the tallest gentile German may, and challenge him to shoot me or cast me in the dungeon…"

Go ahead, Nazis, I dare you.

Now, the Boston Globe unearthed this gem from Yoko Ono, delivered during her 1969 "Bed-In" with John Lennon. Yoko goes Gandhi one better, suggesting that that Jews not only look good but make Hitler feel good.

As the Globe reports, Al Capp, the cartoonist, asked Yoko, “Tell me how you would stop [Hitler]?”

“If I was a Jewish girl in Hitler’s day,” Yoko replied, “I would approach him and become his girlfriend. After 10 days in bed, he would come to my way of thinking. This world needs communication. And making love is a great way of communicating.”

Capp told Yoko that was "stark raving madness.”

Snapped Lennon, "What’s mad about it?”

Far be it for me to suggest that ten days with the right Jewish girlfriend could be anything other than sensational, even medicinal. And you’ll notice that most of us who have indeed spent at least ten romantic days with a Jewish woman have, in fact, not invaded Poland, and, for the most part, do not go around wearing black leather with skull-and-crossbone jewlery on our collars.

Nevertheless, while both Hitler and I are both Aries and are both obsessed with Jews, each in our way, it is doubtful that after ten days the Fuhrer would have been as easily charmed as I would be at a convention of Emunah or Amit women.

On the other hand, it is known that Josef Goebbels’ wife, Magda (who was raised by a Jewish step-father), prior to marrying Goebbels (with Hitler as Best Man), had dated the Berlin-born Zionist leader Chaim Arlosoroff (who was murdered on a Tel Aviv beach in 1933, just days — coincidentally? — after returning to Tel Aviv from his attempt to connect to the very married Mrs. Goebbels in Berlin, hoping to persuade her to advocate with Hitler and Goebbels on behalf of German Jews). Magda Goebbels proves that same woman could be attracted to — and could arouse the romantic desire — of remarkably different men. Chaim’s (more than) ten days with her didn’t do much.

Dear Jewish woman, think of some of the men you’ve dated and the man you’re seeing now.

And pity the man who doesn’t remember ten days that shook his world.

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