It was merely a recommendation.
A gentleman who had read one of my blogs where I complained about dating burn-out posted that I should get my furry little paws on Shaya Ostrov’s book, The Inner Circle: Seven Gates to Marriage.
Ok, he did not use the words “furry paws,” but he might as well have, because soon after I read his posting I was already purring and licking my lips with anticipation, wondering how I was going to get a hold of a Jewish relationship book I didn’t know about!
I mean, life is confusing, people. And if I can find some answers once and for all in a book, why, I’m there! That’s why I am constantly dipping into the fountain of “self-help” books out there, hoping against hope that maybe this time the written word will get my out of my current predicament. Which is another way of saying, maybe this Shaya Ostrov is my ticket to the huppa!
The only problem is how to get the book in Israel? It’s not exactly in every Steimatzky’s. And I vetoed the idea of posting the request on Facebook, telling myself I had shamed myself in public enough. Have I no self-respect?
And so I did what I always do, I called my most favorite girlfriend here.
“You are not going to actually go out and buy that book, are you?” she said.
But when she realized that I was determined all she said was, “Whatever you do, do not spend more than five shekel on it!”
In the end, I ordered the book from the publishing house. (It was more than five shekels but not nearly as much as I’ve handed over to Jdate over the years, which is some consolation.)
The only catch is the post office connected to my address is for some reason not actually very close to my address, which is another way of saying, guess who has to hoof it all over town in this terrible heat just to get to the post office?
What I’m really getting at here is the last time I made that trek it was to retrieve what turned out to be the book written by a guy I had briefly dated a few summers ago who ended things because he was “a man of the cloth, married to my book.” (He’s a Jew.) Which was another way of saying the guy said he could not write his book and date me at the same time, but we know this to be untrue because he soon started dating a woman and continued to write his book, which is now being published. And now he wants me to review it, of course. Did I say book? What I meant was the TWO VOLUME novel he wrote. That’s right, people. One volume wasn’t enough. He had to go and write two, which only made my walk back home that day that much more difficult. (What is especially irksome is it’s a really good book. I mean, books.)
But we were talking about The Inner Circle and those Seven Gates to Marriage!
You don’t forget anything, do you?
And for my opinion on that, you’ll just have to wait until my next posting.
A sneak peek: I love the book!