Can we talk a moment about men and that little thing called, “age discrimination?"
As in, the way so many single men seem to only want young women.
Notice I am only accusing “many” not “all” men. Which is another way of saying, all men. Or almost all men. Or most of the men out there except for the exceptions, of course.
Take the matchmaker I ran into the other day who told me she just stopped trying to help the men over the age of 50 who write in all-caps on their profiles, “Dear matchmakers: Don’t even bother setting me up with a woman over the age of 30. I am not interested. And there is no wiggle room here.”
“And they are balding, and overweight and don’t have good jobs,” she added in such a way that were it translated into a foreign language its subtitle would read, “Are they on crack?”
Instead she said, “What 25-year-old is going to want to go out with them?”
I know, I know, they want children. Well, I have news for these men: Many women in their upper 30s and 40s want children, too. And there are lots of ways to have children in today’s world, too, besides natural child birth. (Not that these particular men seem like such prizes.)
Or what of the men over the age of 50 who keep contacting me on Jdate (or did, back when I was still Jdating) who make it very clear that they don’t want more children. So why are they emailing me? Why not email a woman their own age?
Now I’m not saying single women are always beyond reproach. I’ve pointed out many times that women, even the shortest of the bunch, are very cruel about a little thing called height. Which is another way of saying, they always want a tall man.
I don’t get it, but I also happen to have a soft spot for small but mighty men. Especially in a nice pair of frames.
My point? Women can be short-sighted, too. And shallow. But in the scheme of things it seems that women are more generous when it comes to being open to a man. While it also seems to me that the older a man gets, the more ungenerous he is. And also the more unrealistic.
Which leads me back to my original question, namely, Why does a man over the age of 30 insist on a 20-year-old model?
I could not figure this out for the life of me. Especially if the man in question did not seem to offer similar superficial virtues, such as good looks or wealth. So where do they come off?
Recently, I seized upon a possible explanation in a relationship book. The author, who is a therapist, says that an older man who is so unrealistic in his expectations for a mate does so because he is desperate.
In other words, the farther away from couplehood he gets, the more of a pipe dream it seems and so therefore his requirements become more and more stringent and frankly, ridiculous.
Which is another way of saying, if you’re never gonna meet someone, why not make that out of reach woman Bar Raphaeli?
Unless someone else has another explanation?