I never thought I’d stoop this low.
But I sorta, kinda shaved a few years off my age on my Jdate profile. Which is another way of saying, I’m a liar.
It’s not my fault. Really, it isn’t. Because now that I am over 35, and inching closer to 40, in the world of online dating that renders me persona non grata.
Which is another way of saying, for me to even get men my own age to not just consider me, but to even see me, I have to reduce my age. Otherwise, the only men who reach out to me are well over 50, and as the case may have it, semi-imbeciles.
Which is another way of saying, I had no other choice, your honor!
But because I’m a total Honest Abe, a liability at times if you want to know the truth, the whole thing bothered me. I know that I would feel cheated were a man to misrepresent himself online.
So I posed the question on Facebook and elicited a lively response, the consensus being, everyone lies online. Men lie about height (and sometimes age) and women lie about age (and sometimes weight).
They weren’t defending dishonesty, only saying that in order to get my foot in the door, I have to fudge my age a bit. And that if once I meet someone and spill the beans and he is outraged and wants to citizen arrest me, why, that is the cost of doing business.
Certain advocates of truth and nothing but the truth objected, of course. They argued that any man who is going to reject a woman sight unseen because of her age is not worthy in the first place.
But I say that even the good ones, the fellows who would be ok with a woman their own age if they were to meet me in person, are nothing more than lousy ageist criminals online. I know this for a fact because more than one man I’ve dated or gone out with who had no problem with my age once they met me list on their Jdate profiles that they won’t even consider a woman over the age of 35.
So to me, the issue is just being allowed entrée into the game in the first place. Not that I am getting any pleasure out of it. Believe you me, Jdate is no fun and it is getting worse. What an exercise in humiliation! I mean, why do I think I deserve more than the over-weight, under-educated, 50+ man who keeps sending me “winks” online?
Meanwhile, the verdict is still out whether my suddenly being 34 will make a difference.
“The only way men will notice you is if you change your age to 10,” said one cynical single girlfriend.
We shall see, kemosabe. We shall see.