“You know when you’re watching a horror film and the girl is about to head into the shed because she forgot her sweater? And you’re sitting there watching the whole thing and cringing, saying, ‘No, no, no!! Just don’t go into that shed! Just forget about your sweater!’”
“Well, that’s how I feel when I read your dating columns.”
This from a friend whom I saw at a party on the Upper West Side. Which is another way of saying, this is the first I had heard of the “Abby as singles’ horror columnist” before.
“I mean, I’m just reading about these men you’re meeting and all the signs are there that they are jerks and yet, you insist on heading into that shed anyway….”
Point well made. Which is another way of saying, point well taken.
If you must know, I had come to New York to pursue a romance. So I couldn’t help but weigh this friend’s words carefully as I reviewed how the romance was going.
More specifically, how would I know whether the fellow I had one date with in Israel a few months ago – only one date! – and with whom I had come to New York to spend a few days with, was worth pursuing?
Which is another way of saying, is it a deal breaker – the equivalent of stepping into that metaphorical shed – that the dude is constantly working? Really, constantly. As in, someone is always on his Blackberry or on conference calls and it sure as hell isn’t moi.
On the other hand, after fewer than 48 hours together, I managed to do an excellent job of being “me” in my full glory, which is not necessarily a compliment. So how did he take my little show of tears during brunch or when I accused him of not asking enough questions or when I bristled because he failed to understand the magnitude of my former job?
Let’s just say he not only took it all in stride, he handled it all with kindness, warmth and panache. He even went out of his way to make sure I was happy. Which counts. It really, really does.
So am I asking for too much to want him to not have to log in two hours of work on a Saturday night when I am visiting? At the beginning of a relationship? Or should I just be happy that I’ve met someone who is loving and kind?
Which is really another way of saying, am I heading back into that shed, folks?