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Going Belly Up On Love

Going Belly Up On Love

I was rushing through town the other day and came to a dead stop.

Were my eyes deceiving me or did that mannequin in the shop window have a wee bit of a belly?

It reminded me of an observation a friend made about Israeli women, that no matter how skinny they are, there always seems to be a little bit of extra love right in the belly region.

Israeli men, too.

For so many of them, once they reach a certain age, it’s like all those years of pita and hummous have to go somewhere. So even if they are still firm and lithe and all around slender, if you pay attention you’ll see a mini-belly.

Makes me love Israel. I mean, who can trust a person who is nothing but a bag of bones? Or a person who never eats?

I thought of this the other day when the Israeli fellow with whom I was keeping company met up with me. He had just had a big meal and to make sure I really understood the depth of his consumption, he lifted up his tshirt.

Do the words, "Did someone just swallow a basketball?" mean anything to you, people?

Because here was this slender guy who was toting around a temporary – yet very noticeable – inflatable belly.

"What’d you eat?" I asked.

Pasta, he said. And a rich dessert.


It made me love him on the spot. No joke, had he asked for my hand in marriage right that second I would have said yes.

Why? The same reason a girlfriend once said to me about the current object of her affection: "Oh, Abigail, he has the sweetest little bald spot right on the very tippy-top of his head. Every time he bends down and I catch a peek, I just want to kiss him right on his bald spot!"

So why do I bring this story up? Is it because my girlfriend and I are deranged and that is why we are still single? Or that if all I want in a guy is a wee bit of a belly, I should consider myself in paradise country?

All I know is that the "pasta and rich dessert" belly guy suddenly disappeared.

"You want too much too soon," he texted.

When I suggested he try to meet me halfway, he was already gone.

So if he is not right, what of the guy with the cute dimple (also rail thin with a tiny belly) with whom I shared a lovely drink and though he promised to call, never did?

Or the one with whom I shared a lovely phone chat and yet, a few hours before our date, cancelled and then also retreated into the cosmos?

All I’m saying is could it possibly be something in the belly?

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