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Friday Follies: Haredi Teen Marriage, No More Joe-Mentum and “Tony Bagels”

Friday Follies: Haredi Teen Marriage, No More Joe-Mentum and “Tony Bagels”

The latest in what seems like a stream of bad ideas coming from Israeli rabbis is a proposed bill in the Knesset that would lower the marriage age there to 15. It’s hard to decide what to be flabbergasted about more: the notion that kids that age are ready to handle marriage or the rationale behind it, which, according to an article in Ynet, is to get young Orthodox women out of the household and earning their own keep faster, unburdening their parents. The bill is being pushed by Rabbi Asher Idan of the Lobby for Jewish Values.
Take it from someone who is raising two teenagers, with a third on deck, kids at 15 can’t learn to shut the lights when they leave the house, let alone manage a checking account, an adult relationship and raising children (presumably while finishing high school, too, or is he urging them to drop out ?)
It has been scientifically proven that early teenagers in most cases are not wired for solid judgment, and that’s why we don’t let them vote, drive, drink, marry or join the military until late teens or early adulthood. Supporters of the bill say it will only legalize what many families are already doing and even cut down on rape and sexual abuse by letting kids have sex earlier, which goes to show how little the bill’s advocates understand about rape and sexual abuse.
An unnamed haredi source tells YNet that the impetus for the bill is a desire to “change the haredi view that has been prevailing in recent years, according to which girls must acquire an occupation before getting married.” I wasn’t aware this view had really caught on, but if it did, it should be encouraged. Opposing it contradicts Rabbi Idan’s expressed concern that girls should stop being a burden to their parents at 15 – unless he expects a husband’s kollel stipend to foot the bill for the whole family. It’s unlikely they’ll find much support for this bill among secular members of Knesset, and religious members may well look askance at it too.
Speaking of low support, Joe Lieberman is calling it a political career, which stirs up some memories. Canvassing Jews on the West Side to react to his historic vice 2000 presidential nomination, listening to his policy speech at the Conference of Presidents; trying to keep the speed limit while following his campaign bus as it sped from Stamford to New Haven in 2006; and the famous kiss of George W. Bush (literally) that probably alone cost him the Democrat Senate nomination that year.
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven,” Joe said on Wednesday in announcing he won’t be on the 2006 ballot, which was appropriate since “Turn Turn Turn,” the classic Byrds take on Ecclesiastes, could be a good anthem for Joe.
His career took lots of turns, and whether Joe turned on the Democrats or they turned on him is for history to judge. But my guess is speaking at the Republican convention in favor of the GOP nominee is probably what made the shidduch fouled up beyond all repair (although his buddies backing Ned Lamont over him before that didn’t help.) Joe famously boasted that his 2004 campaign was gaining “Joe-Mentum,” but probably started pining for a cabinet job soon after it didn’t, either in the Bush or McCain administrations. Sadly for Joe, things didn’t turn out that way.
There’s nothing funny about what the dozens of alleged mobstersrounded up by the feds this week are accused of doing, but you had to stop and wonder how one defendant, Tony Bagels, got his name.
According to reports Anthony Cavezza, who was arrested along with "Vinny Carwash," "Lumpy" and "Junior Lollipops," got his monicker the obvious way, out of fondness for the Jewishy food staple, rather than being accused of putting holes in his enemies or, um, rolling in illegal dough. It turns out Cavezza is not the first alleged mobster with that nickname. Louie Daidone of Queens, a Lucchese family boss serving time in the federal penn in Allentown on a 2004 racketeering and muder conviction went by the name Louie Bagels, in his case because he owned a bagel store in Howard Beach. It seems ironic, given the history of Jewish mobsters with nicknames like Bugsy, Lepke and Gurrah, that Bagels went to two gentiles.
If Tony Bagels is convicted, maybe he should share a cell with this guy.
Enjoy the weekend, and Go Jets!
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