It’s funny how different hanging out as "friends" versus hanging out as "potential life partners" (no pressure, ahem!) can be.

Which is another way of saying, I couldn’t stand the guy on our official date.

But when he invited me over for a glass of wine for a "non date date," he suddenly didn’t seem so bad. He even seemed sort of good. And except for the nasty smell emanating from somewhere in his apartment (blech!), I might have even been open to him.

"Ever since my divorce it’s like I had a brit mila (circumcision) on my heart," he confided in me. So with his heart cut open, he "can’t stop falling in love."

I have experienced something similar. Which is another way of saying, when any sane person would be protecting herself tenfold, I keep finding myself offering up my heart hither and yon. To painful results.

And this "non-date date?" Well, to begin with, it’s just more relaxed when you’re not thinking, "Are you my husband?" And they’re not thinking, "On a scale of one to ten, I’d give her a…"

On the other hand, that kind of relaxation often yields the kind of stories that would make one run for the hills on an actual date. Which is another way of saying: I sympathized more with the 27-year-old whose heart he recently messed with than with his own.

The real question is how to bring that relaxed-getting-to-know-you feel to actual dates?