"I AM LOOKING FOR YOU," began the note the faceless guy on Jdate sent me.
The rest of his message sounded eerily familiar.
"WOMEN and not a GIRL, yet also playful and with a young spirit. Someone with integrity and a sense of who he is. Someone who is a citizen of the world. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who doesn’t hate my dog. Someone interesting. Unless I’m looking for the wrong things? You tell me. Surprise me."
In other words, this gentleman had copied and pasted the "what I’m looking for" from my own profile on another dating site and sent it back to me as his words on Jdate. The only thing he changed (in the first sentence) was the male to female form.
He didn’t even use quote marks.
Which is another way of saying, the dude so used a Gzera Shava on me, the Talmudic principle of taking the same word used in different places with different contexts to better explain a law. Er, well, not exactly, but it’s always good to bandy about Talmudic phrases, particularly when it comes to my love life.
Creepy or flattering?
And since I’m parsing this so thoroughly, didn’t he technically mean to say, “YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ME?”
And if that were the case, then why not just write to me on the dating site in which I posted these words? Why switch over to the one that requires you to pay lots of moola just to send a message?
Ah, the questions. So many questions. When can we go to a wedding already?
Which is another way of saying, what does the groom look like? I wouldn’t know since even though he could see my photo, he did not run a photo with his profile. Is that just? I pointed this out and he graciously sent me his photo and I have to say, he’s a nice looking man, albeit rather old looking.
Which leads me to another sticking point. Why do men in their late 40s or older, like my stalker, a divorced gentleman with partial custody of his three children, who have clearly marked on their profiles that they do not want any more children, email women ten-plus years their junior? I mean, if the guy doesn’t want any more kids why not email women his own age or older? Or women with children?
Which is another way of saying, we broke up before we even went out.
Still, ’twas flattering that he took the time to quote me. I do love the sound of my own quotes.