Item: Jet Blue has announced a deal with El Al to have passengers connect, with a single ticket, from Israel flights to 62 points around North America. You gotta love the timing. If you thought it was tense on Jet Blue now, wait until you start getting an infusion of passengers who have been cooped up for 10 hours on the way from Tel Aviv, displaced from the rear davening-section, kept awake by screaming babies and poorly supervised kids. El Al’s flight attendants are notoriously no-nonsense, so the JetBlue crew should be prepared for a sleep deprived Birthrighter or two, knowing full well that IDF-veteran stewardesses can floor them in one move, venting some steam on the connecting flight. Better triple-lock down those emergency inflation controls, and if Jet Blue lets Steven Slater back in the air, slip some valium in his beer.
As for fees for the connection, I am told they will be on a sliding scale.
Item: Radio host Dr. Laura Schlesinger is in hot water again for her "advice" to a woman in an interracial relationship that included multiple spewing of the N-word. Among her jewels of wisdom: "Black guys seem to think it’s OK … If you’re that hypersensitive about color and don’t have a sense of humor don’t marry out of your race … Don’t NAACP me."
Please, no one ask her opinion about the Ground Zero mosque. The ADL will have to do rhetorical backflips denouncing her insensitivity and the mosque planners’ insensitivity and calling on Dr. Laura to apologize for being absolutely right.
Item: Lea Michele, a star of the hit TV show "Glee," which I am told is not about Republican reaction to the president’s approval rating, says in an Us Weekly interview that she doesn’t feel the need to go changin’ to try and please people. "I have always been proud of my body, my Jewish nose and all of that." Good for her. JTA says she has a Jewish father, which begs the question, would she be equally proud of a fully Jewish proboscis rather than just a semi-Semitic one? Maybe she should do lunch with "Dirty Dancing" star Jennifer Grey, who said in a magazine interview in 1999 that she had rhinoplasty because her ostensibe shnoz had been keeping Baby in the corner. After the surgery she was cast on the forgotten sitcom "It’s Like, You Know …" which lasted like, you know, one season, or 10 years less than Jamie Farr spent working on M*A*S*H.
Item: BP has announced that they’ve finally found the right way to plug that pesky oil well once and for all. Now let’s put them to work on Mel Gibson’s mouth.