“We’re both neurotic Jews with roots in the New York area,” says David Jacobsen. “We share the same birthday, adds Lisa Schwartz. “And we have the same hair,” continues David. “We have hair solidarity.” According to the matching algorithm of an online dating service, David and Lisa were compatible.
Two of Lisa’s friends met their matches on chemistry.com and urged Lisa to join. When she was 34, Lisa signed up.
Academically, she was a success –two degrees from Cornell, both with distinction, and a law degree from Stanford.
Professionally, as an attorney in Manhattan, she was in the right place. “Only my love life was lacking,” says Lisa. “I liked artsy people and wanted to meet someone who was emotionally available.”
After seven months of trying online match-making, something clicked for Lisa when she got an email from David, a folk singer and software product manager. She was attracted to both his photo and his profile. “I liked his long, curly brown hair and appreciated his musical pursuits,” says Lisa.
David had been using the online service for four months and received about five matches a day. “When I was younger, two words in Lisa’s profile would have turned me off – “attorney” and “Manhattan.” David loves New Jersey so much, he has a state flag in his living room and often sings about “having a life in Jersey.”
But, at age 37, David was thinking more deeply. There was something about Lisa’s photo and profile that moved him. He would take a chance. “I really can’t explain it,” says David. ”Something drove me. I think that dating is somewhat like playing a slot machine. When the matching symbols line up, you win.” As someone who works with algorithms in his day job, David concedes: “Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t.”
David and Lisa emailed each other for nine days. They had their first date on March 6, 2011. They started with coffee; went on to watch live-action shorts; continued to dinner; and ended at a bar. “We both like to have fun,” says Lisa. They had a great first date, which stretched out to nine hours. “Lisa is a sweetheart,” says David. “She’s beautiful, interesting, loving and caring. “
David writes snarky songs, which make people laugh and think. “And that’s exactly what he does for me,” says Lisa. “I need to laugh.”
David studied at Berklee College of Music and Rutgers University, where he graduated with highest honors. He has recorded more than 10 albums, mixing humorous social commentary with melancholy reflection. In his live performances, he accompanies himself on acoustic guitar. That’s usually two to three times a month. Lisa does her best to be there. “I’m a regular groupie,” she says.
During the first week in March 2012, exactly one year after their first date, they celebrated by reenacting its movements.
They added one activity. They went ring shopping.
They decided on a destination wedding in Key West, making it convenient for Lisa’s family in Florida. Asked whether he sang to his bride at their wedding, David says: “The saccharine sweetness of a lot of love songs, it just makes me groan.” Lisa cuts in: “He sang with his eyes.”
For their first dance at the wedding, the DJ played “Lovesong” by British rock group The Cure, which they heard at the bar on their first date. They are both romantics.
Lisa and David married on their joint birthday, February 2, 2013. Mazal tov!
Dr. Leah Hakimian currently researches the question: How Jewish couples meet and marry. In the 90’s she founded two nonprofit Jewish matchmaking programs, and continues to champion the role of community in helping singles meet. She resides in Jerusalem and Great Neck, New York.